no matter,i can understand.i won't stand in your way,sorry。。。
    面对他那样的解释，我只能凭着模糊的视线，颤抖的手指挣扎着打出了以上的文字。。。泪正如我所说毫无知觉的流下。。。可是已经没有了心痛的感觉。。。
    为什么？
    是已经预感到了的结果，还是已哭的麻木。。？
    或者，是我高估了对他的感情？
    
    I’ve never thought that u loved me or wanted my love. ‘cos I always consider u as a good friend instead of a admirer.
    
    米儿啊。。。是你超出了朋友界限还是正如自己所想的，他只是一个胜利者？
    
    Anyway, if u r brave enough, u can continue reading or u can just delete this mail at once. ‘cos I don’t want to hurt u. I know refusing means hurting u. but I don’t want to cheat u or just like what u said ------“escape”. Ok here is my answer _____I’m sorry______. Don’t cry because I don’t like tearing. As u know, we’re just students, no matter we r 16 yr-old. If we r Americans, I’ll accept u. ‘cos u r pretty active and fun loving. But I have to study since I’m a Chinese. And I don’t want to hurt my future also yours. Without me, u can still get ur wonderful life. Maybe these words r all over of rubbish. But this is what I think. U may think that I’m just looking for some words to convince my decision.
    
    很好的理由对不对？呵呵。。。米儿可以阻碍他的前途吗？我真该喝酒庆祝。。。Brian啊Brian。。。能不能先学会撒谎。。。能不能？
    在信里，“I‘m sorry”他打的好小好小，必须要花精力才能看的清楚，必须要花精力才能使自己几乎不能呼吸。。。
    好笨的米儿。。。你该听他的话，删掉它啊。。。。删掉它。。。
    
    I’m not that good as u think, and probably, I’m not the best choice for u . in future, u’ll see how bad I am ‘cos u can find more fantastic boys. I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m too confused to write.
    
    以前他都好自信的说自己“strong”，喜欢他那神采奕奕的样子。。。可现在。。。只为拒绝吗？为了拒绝我，为了不“伤害”我，他花了好多心思吧？好感谢他，真的。。。
    
    可是。。。夜里，抽泣着翻来覆去四个小时，还是决定不要放弃。。。不要放弃。。。
    对！不要放弃。。。
    月说。。。
    他不要你是他的损失。。。
    好多朋友这样说。。。
    好感谢他们。。。真的。。。即使是安慰。。。
    
    现在，米儿仍带着笑容。。。因为米儿会为他变的优秀。。。真的会。。。
    嘿嘿。。。相信米儿！